First on the list of our latest library book favorites is The Dog Child by Simon Black, illustrated by Honorio Robledo. I thought this book was cute, and a little bit weird, but it was a big hit with the boys. It is about a couple who treats their dog as though she is their daughter, even sending her to kindergarten. Finally they have a human baby, and the dog gets to go back to being a regular pet.
The next book that merits mention comes with a warning. I am not actually recommending this book. This is by far the most violent picture book I have ever laid eyes on. I actually couldn't believe what I was seeing. Because of this, I have been showing it to everyone who comes over. That has launched the book to celebrity status in our house, and Adam has begged for it ever since. I actually don't recommend that you read it to your child, but you might want to look at it just for shock value: The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig by Eugene Trivizas.
My third recommendation is this nonfiction book about a group of children who grew vegetables together one summer: A Harvest of Color: Growing a Vegetable Garden by Melanie Eclare.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Ode to Leslie (written June 2007)
Yesterday morning, Leslie left us. Right now, it still feels like she might just be gone on an overnight trip to Muskegon, or even a week-long vacation in Utah. But she is not coming back, and that is very sad. Leslie is one of Dan's baby sisters. Adam was born on her 20th birthday. Leslie moved into our basement in late summer of 2005. She spent two school years with us, while completing a Master's degree in viola. Those two years were a gift to me and my children that I'll always be grateful for.
2nd Visit with New Counselor (written July 2007)
Since I'm going to see my new counselor for the third time tomorrow, I thought I'd best hurry and record the highlights of my session last week. Here are some of the things we talked about:
1. "Positive Intent" This is a phrase that came up over and over again. My counselor kept telling me that every negative emotion has a positive intent. She said that actually, according to the theory of positive intents, every action has a positive intent as well. Instead of focusing on how bad if feels to have a negative emotion, she encouraged me to try to figure out what the positive intent of that emotion is...what it is trying to get me to do.
2. We talked a lot about my messy kitchen. We made a plan that I will focus on keeping 4 things clean as my first priority, because with them, I can usually make dinner: a knife, a cutting board, a pot, and the table. If the table is clean, we can sit down to eat, Adam can work on his writing, I can have a place to cut up things, and I feel less overwhelmed.
3. I received the assignment to research Daniel Goleman's concept of emotional intelligence so that we could talk about it next time. I haven't done that yet.
4. I received the assignment to search for research jobs on the LDS employment website.
We talked a lot about my plan to go to nursing school, and how that may not be the best plan for me. We talked about the fact that I may be using school as a crutch. Instead of relying on school to get me motivated to accomplish things, it would be good for me to figure out how to motivate myself to accomplish the things I want to do, like writing for a living. We talked about the three things I'd most like to do in a job, namely writing, research, and teaching. I guess I should add talking to people.
1. "Positive Intent" This is a phrase that came up over and over again. My counselor kept telling me that every negative emotion has a positive intent. She said that actually, according to the theory of positive intents, every action has a positive intent as well. Instead of focusing on how bad if feels to have a negative emotion, she encouraged me to try to figure out what the positive intent of that emotion is...what it is trying to get me to do.
2. We talked a lot about my messy kitchen. We made a plan that I will focus on keeping 4 things clean as my first priority, because with them, I can usually make dinner: a knife, a cutting board, a pot, and the table. If the table is clean, we can sit down to eat, Adam can work on his writing, I can have a place to cut up things, and I feel less overwhelmed.
3. I received the assignment to research Daniel Goleman's concept of emotional intelligence so that we could talk about it next time. I haven't done that yet.
4. I received the assignment to search for research jobs on the LDS employment website.
We talked a lot about my plan to go to nursing school, and how that may not be the best plan for me. We talked about the fact that I may be using school as a crutch. Instead of relying on school to get me motivated to accomplish things, it would be good for me to figure out how to motivate myself to accomplish the things I want to do, like writing for a living. We talked about the three things I'd most like to do in a job, namely writing, research, and teaching. I guess I should add talking to people.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Anne Lamott: Sit Down and Write
I would like to start out by thanking my friend Eileen for recommending that I read Anne Lamott. I had never heard of her, but Eileen gave her such a rousing endorsement that I took notice. I got Bird by Bird: Instructions on Writing and Life, read some (or all?) of it, laughed a lot, and forgot about Anne Lamott for a season. That was many years ago.
More recently, while searching The Readers' Choice: 200 Book Club Favorites by Victoria McMains for titles to recommend to my book group, I noticed Operating Instructions: A Journal of my Son's First Year by Anne Lamott. It looked good, and I remembered having heard of her before...(see how keen my memory is?)
I read the book. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard in places. I also found great comfort in it, and hope. You will not want to read the book if you try to avoid profanity as a rule. But you will be missing out on one of the truest accounts of first-time motherhood I've ever read.
Now I'm in the middle of reading Bird by Bird again. This time I have not forgotten who Anne Lamott is. When I read something that I want to remember, I try to write it down. But I'm not sure where to start writing or where to stop with this book. I think I just need to memorize most of it. On the second page of the introduction, Lamott writes of her father, who was also a writer:
"He could go anyplace he wanted with a sense of purpose. One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around. Writing taught my father to pay attention..."
Have you felt this as a blogger, an historian, as a diarist or journal-keeper? When you are in the habit of writing things down, do you find that you notice more of what is happening around you? How frequently do you say to yourself, "this will make a great post" and pay special attention, or get out your camera, just to better capture the moment? If I write something down, I remember it. The rest is lost.
Lamott's father got out of bed every morning at 5:30 so that he could spend a few hours writing before the rest of the family woke up. She tells her writing students that in order to write, they need to sit down. "You try to sit down at approximately the same time every day. This is how you train your unconscious to kick in for you creatively" (6).
I was reading something recently about making sure that we are not so caught up in the busyness of life that we neglect the most important things. I asked myself, what important thing am I neglecting? The answer came in a flash, and it was unexpected: Writing. The answer surprised me because writing is something that brings me a great deal of pleasure, so I don't usually think of it as important. I like thinking of it as something that I am supposed to do, something that God has given me to bring me happiness, something that he wants me to spend time on. I like the idea that by doing something I love to do, I could also be doing something good for others.
So I am going to try to sit down a little more frequently to write, instead of waiting until I think something "blog-worthy" has happened. And if you enjoy what I write, please let me know. And keep reading!
More recently, while searching The Readers' Choice: 200 Book Club Favorites by Victoria McMains for titles to recommend to my book group, I noticed Operating Instructions: A Journal of my Son's First Year by Anne Lamott. It looked good, and I remembered having heard of her before...(see how keen my memory is?)
I read the book. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard in places. I also found great comfort in it, and hope. You will not want to read the book if you try to avoid profanity as a rule. But you will be missing out on one of the truest accounts of first-time motherhood I've ever read.
Now I'm in the middle of reading Bird by Bird again. This time I have not forgotten who Anne Lamott is. When I read something that I want to remember, I try to write it down. But I'm not sure where to start writing or where to stop with this book. I think I just need to memorize most of it. On the second page of the introduction, Lamott writes of her father, who was also a writer:
"He could go anyplace he wanted with a sense of purpose. One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around. Writing taught my father to pay attention..."
Have you felt this as a blogger, an historian, as a diarist or journal-keeper? When you are in the habit of writing things down, do you find that you notice more of what is happening around you? How frequently do you say to yourself, "this will make a great post" and pay special attention, or get out your camera, just to better capture the moment? If I write something down, I remember it. The rest is lost.
Lamott's father got out of bed every morning at 5:30 so that he could spend a few hours writing before the rest of the family woke up. She tells her writing students that in order to write, they need to sit down. "You try to sit down at approximately the same time every day. This is how you train your unconscious to kick in for you creatively" (6).
I was reading something recently about making sure that we are not so caught up in the busyness of life that we neglect the most important things. I asked myself, what important thing am I neglecting? The answer came in a flash, and it was unexpected: Writing. The answer surprised me because writing is something that brings me a great deal of pleasure, so I don't usually think of it as important. I like thinking of it as something that I am supposed to do, something that God has given me to bring me happiness, something that he wants me to spend time on. I like the idea that by doing something I love to do, I could also be doing something good for others.
So I am going to try to sit down a little more frequently to write, instead of waiting until I think something "blog-worthy" has happened. And if you enjoy what I write, please let me know. And keep reading!
Books, Books about Books, Lists of Books
I like to read books.
I like to read books about books: Nancy Pearl's Book Lust is a great example.
I like to make lists of books that I've read. Unlike my sister Karen, who keeps her book list in a dedicated journal, I have always made my lists on random pieces of paper that get lost. Now, however, I keep track of my books on a website for readers called Goodreads.com, which, hopefully, will never get lost.
I like to collect lists of books to read in the future. One of my favorite Christmas presents of all time is a list my above-mentioned sister Karen made me of her ten favorite books in each of 6 different categories. If you have a list of favorites to share, please pass it on!
Besides lists of favorite books made by friends, I have a special affinity for "must-read" lists made by book "authorities" of some kind. One I recently discovered (and spent over an hour perusing) is Time Magazine's Best 100 English-Language Novels from 1923 to "the present" (list published in October 2005). This is a particularly nice list as it gives a brief synopsis of each book, alerting me to the fact that I do not actually want to read Lolita, no matter how many times I've seen it listed.
One of my mental hobbies is thinking up different reading lists or themes for imaginary book clubs. Here are some of my ideas:
*Books about by authors from a different country each month. I just found a blog tonight for a group in Scotland that does this very thing: Round the World Book Group.
*Books that have been made into movies. I might start with The Painted Veil by W. Somerset Maugham or The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro.
*Books in thematic pairs. One pair of books I'd like to read and discuss is Life of Pi by Yann Martel and Max and the Cats by Moacyr Scliar (some say Martel plagiarized Scliar). Another pair I've been thinking of is Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy with Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (married women having affairs and committing suicide).
*Dystopian Fiction: 1984, A Brave New World, The Giver, The Handmaid's Tale...
*Memoir
*Books with strong religious or spiritual themes
*Multiple books by the same author
*Books about the craft of writing. The one I'm reading right now and loving is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
I like to read books about books: Nancy Pearl's Book Lust is a great example.
I like to make lists of books that I've read. Unlike my sister Karen, who keeps her book list in a dedicated journal, I have always made my lists on random pieces of paper that get lost. Now, however, I keep track of my books on a website for readers called Goodreads.com, which, hopefully, will never get lost.
I like to collect lists of books to read in the future. One of my favorite Christmas presents of all time is a list my above-mentioned sister Karen made me of her ten favorite books in each of 6 different categories. If you have a list of favorites to share, please pass it on!
Besides lists of favorite books made by friends, I have a special affinity for "must-read" lists made by book "authorities" of some kind. One I recently discovered (and spent over an hour perusing) is Time Magazine's Best 100 English-Language Novels from 1923 to "the present" (list published in October 2005). This is a particularly nice list as it gives a brief synopsis of each book, alerting me to the fact that I do not actually want to read Lolita, no matter how many times I've seen it listed.
One of my mental hobbies is thinking up different reading lists or themes for imaginary book clubs. Here are some of my ideas:
*Books about by authors from a different country each month. I just found a blog tonight for a group in Scotland that does this very thing: Round the World Book Group.
*Books that have been made into movies. I might start with The Painted Veil by W. Somerset Maugham or The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro.
*Books in thematic pairs. One pair of books I'd like to read and discuss is Life of Pi by Yann Martel and Max and the Cats by Moacyr Scliar (some say Martel plagiarized Scliar). Another pair I've been thinking of is Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy with Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (married women having affairs and committing suicide).
*Dystopian Fiction: 1984, A Brave New World, The Giver, The Handmaid's Tale...
*Memoir
*Books with strong religious or spiritual themes
*Multiple books by the same author
*Books about the craft of writing. The one I'm reading right now and loving is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Car Accident, Bike Wreck, Pink Eye, Teething
This has been quite the week, and we are ready to put it behind us. Monday night Dan's car started to hydroplane as he rounded a tight corner on a freeway on-ramp. He overcorrected and the car slammed front and then back into the concrete median wall dividing his lane from the rest of the freeway. He came to a stop facing the on-coming traffic, which had all come to a stop in time to avoid hitting him. Dan was able to move the car to the shoulder and walked away unscathed. The same could not be said for his car, affectionately known as Venus. Venus was the first new vehicle we bought together. She joined our family just a few months before Adam did, and has been a trusty and reliable friend ever since. We had dropped her insurance to liability and the body shop came back with an estimate of over five thousand dollars to fix her. The cost, along with the fact that she had almost 200,000 miles and no AC, led us to the difficult decision to say goodbye. Wednesday Dan cleaned her out and removed her license plate. We are selling her for $350 to someone at the body shop who plans to sell her parts on eBay. She's a DNR and an organ donor.
Tuesday on his way home from school, the chain slipped off of Eli's bike, causing an accident which resulted in a sad, scraped-up boy claiming that both arms were broken (although one was worse than the other). Being the kind, angelic mother that I am, I was dubious. I called the nurse and she said to give him some Tylenol and see if he felt better in an hour. I kept an eye on him. He seemed to be using both arms somewhat, and there was no visible swelling, but on the other hand, he was trying to keep the worst arm close to him and kept saying he thought it was broken. Dan offered to take him to the ER when he got home from work, and lo and behold, the left arm was indeed broken.
Wednesday night Esther's eye started oozing goo, and Thursday morning it was sealed shut. That meant a trip to the Pediatrician and a prescription to fill. Friday morning her other eye was equally bad, but I made an executive decision to just use the drops on both eyes, which she takes like a champ, and by now is almost 100% better.
Meanwhile, Naomi spent the week toddling around the house crying, probably due to an entire mouthful of new teeth coming in. Normally she plays happily with her dollies and the curtains between the back of the couch and the picture window in the living room, but this week there was no happy playing.
And what did I do this week? I decided that it would be the perfect time to dive back into one of my most addictive, obsessive habits: family history research. If I could do this in moderation, it would be fine, but when I get on the trail trying to hunt down missing information, it is really hard for me to stop or to limit myself. So I spent most of the week up until 2 or 3 in the morning doing research until my eyes crossed. It was a Little Caesar's week for sure.
Yesterday I got to a good stopping point and put the genealogy away in the basement. Today I took two excellent naps. We are getting closer to a decision on Dan's replacement car, and time is healing his sorrow and frustration over the accident. Eli goes to the orthopedist tomorrow to get a cast, hopefully one that will allow his elbow to bend. Naomi is back to her quiet playing behind the couch, and Esther's eyes are clear. Friday is a holiday for Dan and the children, my brother is coming to town, and it is almost Easter. Here's to a better week!
Tuesday on his way home from school, the chain slipped off of Eli's bike, causing an accident which resulted in a sad, scraped-up boy claiming that both arms were broken (although one was worse than the other). Being the kind, angelic mother that I am, I was dubious. I called the nurse and she said to give him some Tylenol and see if he felt better in an hour. I kept an eye on him. He seemed to be using both arms somewhat, and there was no visible swelling, but on the other hand, he was trying to keep the worst arm close to him and kept saying he thought it was broken. Dan offered to take him to the ER when he got home from work, and lo and behold, the left arm was indeed broken.
Wednesday night Esther's eye started oozing goo, and Thursday morning it was sealed shut. That meant a trip to the Pediatrician and a prescription to fill. Friday morning her other eye was equally bad, but I made an executive decision to just use the drops on both eyes, which she takes like a champ, and by now is almost 100% better.
Meanwhile, Naomi spent the week toddling around the house crying, probably due to an entire mouthful of new teeth coming in. Normally she plays happily with her dollies and the curtains between the back of the couch and the picture window in the living room, but this week there was no happy playing.
And what did I do this week? I decided that it would be the perfect time to dive back into one of my most addictive, obsessive habits: family history research. If I could do this in moderation, it would be fine, but when I get on the trail trying to hunt down missing information, it is really hard for me to stop or to limit myself. So I spent most of the week up until 2 or 3 in the morning doing research until my eyes crossed. It was a Little Caesar's week for sure.
Yesterday I got to a good stopping point and put the genealogy away in the basement. Today I took two excellent naps. We are getting closer to a decision on Dan's replacement car, and time is healing his sorrow and frustration over the accident. Eli goes to the orthopedist tomorrow to get a cast, hopefully one that will allow his elbow to bend. Naomi is back to her quiet playing behind the couch, and Esther's eyes are clear. Friday is a holiday for Dan and the children, my brother is coming to town, and it is almost Easter. Here's to a better week!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Walking. Very. Slowly.
I may finally be maturing enough as a parent to allow my three year old to set the pace for our walks. Or maybe it is because my darling friend picks me up every morning at 5:45 so that we can work out together before child duty calls, that I can take a walk later in the day without feeling desperate to call it exercise. Today was the second time this week that I have taken the girls out on a nature walk. We walk very slowly around the block together looking for signs of spring. I told Esther to keep her eyes out for two signs in particular: buds and shoots. On our first walk of this kind, we saw a few buds, no shoots, and then a whole yard full of pine cones, several thousand of which we wanted to gather and take home.
Today we took a different route and found an exciting display of shoots, some really big soft furry buds that we petted gently, and...a sign of spring I hadn't expected... CROCUSES! Yay! The object of passionate collecting today was a yard-full of spikey dried brown ball things that had obviously fallen from the tree above. I did not know what they were or what the tree of their origin was called, so later in the day I tried to look them up. Striking out several times, I finally found a very helpful blog post from a naturalist in Princeton, NJ, who suggests that you identify the trees in your neighborhood by looking at what is on the ground beneath them. And low and behold, there he had a picture of some of the very same little objects that we collected so many of today: the seed ball of an American Sweetgum, affectionately known as a "gumball" or "monkey ball." As it turns out, this is an unusual tree to see in Michigan, because its range does not usually extend this far north. Right here in our very own neighborhood. I feel a new interest in tree identification coming on...
Today we took a different route and found an exciting display of shoots, some really big soft furry buds that we petted gently, and...a sign of spring I hadn't expected... CROCUSES! Yay! The object of passionate collecting today was a yard-full of spikey dried brown ball things that had obviously fallen from the tree above. I did not know what they were or what the tree of their origin was called, so later in the day I tried to look them up. Striking out several times, I finally found a very helpful blog post from a naturalist in Princeton, NJ, who suggests that you identify the trees in your neighborhood by looking at what is on the ground beneath them. And low and behold, there he had a picture of some of the very same little objects that we collected so many of today: the seed ball of an American Sweetgum, affectionately known as a "gumball" or "monkey ball." As it turns out, this is an unusual tree to see in Michigan, because its range does not usually extend this far north. Right here in our very own neighborhood. I feel a new interest in tree identification coming on...
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