Reporting back on our lives without television. Remember how one of the benefits of only having a computer is that its use is password protected? A little problem with this occurs when I am trying to take a nap and the boys are home from school. They have discovered that if they awaken me from my nap, and ask for my password, I will usually give it to them, roll over, and go back to sleep. When I wake up, I am surprised to see them on the computer. "Hey, I thought your screen time was over," I say. "It was," they reply, "but you gave us your password so that you could keep sleeping." Hmm...
Things like this happen: Dan brings Adam home from an outpatient surgery to remove a growth on his lip. The stitches are causing him extreme anxiety, and he is hysterical. Dan suggests that the thing Adam needs most is to be "plugged-in." I immediately cave, with only the weakest breath/ just the half-formed thought of protest sounding faintly in my mind.
Eli spends two days home from school with pink eye. He begs for computer time because he is "so bored." I agree to 30 minutes. When it is over I hear him asking his three-year-old sister if she wants to watch some cute pink Pokemon. The next thing I see is Eli logged-on to Esther's account, using her 30 minutes to watch some more of his movie. When that time ends, he wants to know if he can have Adam's time, or if I will just let him use my account during the 2-3 hours of naptime in the afternoon.
When I say no, there will be no screen time today, or no, we will not extend screen time past each child's 30 minute allotment, one of the most common responses is that it is not fair that I get as much screen time as I want. When I tried to explain to Eli earlier this week that I do not sit around playing computer games and watching movies when I'm having screen time, he said, "can I have more screen time if I promise not to play any games or watch any movies?" He wanted to do Pokemon "research"--he is creating recipes using fruits and berries from the Pokemon world.
I'm kind of spineless. I do not like it when my children are angry with me. I don't like having to say "no" to them over and over and over again. I start to question myself...am I being too extreme? Would it really hurt them to have a few more minutes? Can I survive this day without my nap? Would I be willing to give up using the computer so that I could ask them to do the same?
The system that has been working pretty well is that they cannot have any screen time M-F, but then the weekend often turns into a free-for-all screen orgy. This is not exactly how I envisioned things. Because of all the begging, pleading, whining, cajoling, related to screens, I would really just like to throw this computer out the window sometimes so that I can get some peace while, at the same time, sticking to my guns. But it is such a beautiful iMac!
When I got rid of the television and DVD players, I also got rid of nearly every DVD and VHS tape we owned. I kept the "Sunday" viewing...movies made by the church, or about the scriptures. If I then restrict library trips to Friday afternoons or Saturday mornings, and then return all the DVDs they've checked out Sunday or Monday morning, there is less temptation in the house. But as long as we have internet, there is always plenty for them to do online (and for me), even without owning a single game, Wii, X-Box, etc.
I have tried a system in which I promise to have no screen time until they are in bed for the night, after 9 p.m. This kind of works, as long as I'm consistent. But I like my screen time, too, and I justify it by saying that I need the computer to run the household...pay bills, look up phone numbers, communicate through email, store and order photos, do family history research...
We've gotten off track recently because the last week of February was midwinter break and then the first week of April was spring break. Regulating the screen time is much harder for me when the boys are home all day. They really struggle to take "no" for an answer, and I really struggle to be consistent. Summer is right around the corner, and I really want to figure this out. This morning both boys are back at school, and here comes Esther asking for her 30 minutes of screen time. Just a week ago, she had completely stopped asking for screen time on weekdays, because I just said "no" every time. Darn that pink eye of Eli's and that mouth surgery of Adam's.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sorry for all these ancient posts
I was going through my post archives tonight and noticed a number of drafts from a long time ago that I had never published. I published a bunch of them, thinking they would show up way down in the blog according to the date that I started writing them (several years ago). But they all showed up here at the top, so now it looks like they are current posts. I'm so unsavvy.
Soporific Sudoku (written in 2006)
Although, like most people, I had been aware of the existence of Sudoku for some time, I did not successfully complete my first puzzle until August of this year. After that, it became a kind of addiction for me. Now I use Sudoku to help myself fall asleep at night. There's nothing quite like a number puzzle to get the worries of the day out of your mind.
Eli & Adam's Other Mommy (written November 2006)
Michelle told me this week that her kids refer to Leslie as "Eli and Adam's Other Mommy." I would say that this is a very apt description of her. Leslie is Dan's 25-year-old sister. She sleeps in a cold, dark bedroom in our basement, affectionately referred to as "the ice cave." While Leslie claims to be living with us in order to save money while she attends school, I think she may have been hired by an altruistic philanthropist to inject an element of fun into the boys' otherwise dreary lives. Leslie, for instance, is the creator of the multiple rainbow layered birthday cakes that are becoming a thing of legend among the boys' friends. Eli's birthday was in May, after Leslie had left for the summer. Knowing this, she made his 7-layer birthday cake several weeks in advance, freezing each layer, so that we could put it together on Eli's big day. When we cut into it at his party in the park, the kids and adults were amazed. It was so tall and colorful. Adam, of course, wanted his own, so for his fifth birthday in October, Leslie made him a 5-layer version. Leslie and Adam have the same birthday. Last year and again this year, Leslie crafted an amazing balloon festive masterpiece. This year's is depicted above. For Halloween last year and this year, the boys got to draw whatever they wanted on their pumpkins, and then Leslie carved it for them. Right now, as I type, Leslie is behind me in the kitchen making gingerbread cookie batter so that they can make gingerbread men together after school tomorrow. She is planning an ice skating trip with them before she goes West for the holiday. Leslie takes the boys on bike rides. She downloads pictures of Harry Potter and Legolis and Lord of the Rings and gemstones and whatever else they are interested in. If only all children were so lucky as to have Leslie as their other mommy.
Trippin' in the District (written April 2007)
Last Friday (April 6), Dan came home from work early and we all piled into the car and drove to Washington D.C. We were planning to leave around noon (2 at the latest), so of course we left at 4:30. In spite of our late departure, we still arrived by 1 a.m., so I was pretty impressed with us. Dan drove the whole way, and we only stopped once...that is almost unbelievable, considering we had three children under the age of 8 in the car with us. We spent Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights at Dan's sister's house in Falls Church, Virginia. We were planning to sleep on an air mattress in the living room, but Melinda's roommate spent the weekend with family, so we had her king bed all to ourselves. Esther was comfortable in her portable crib, and the boys slept on the floor in Bug's room.
We were planning on spending Saturday visiting the museums with Dan's cousin Carma and her family, who were down for the weekend from New York City. When Melinda talked to them Saturday morning, they were headed to the Air and Space museum, and we were just waking up. She told them we could probably be there in 90 minutes or so. We first drove to Rockville, Maryland, to pick up my brother James and get a quick tour of his house. He had an ultimate frisbee game that afternoon, and had left his cleats at work, so our next stop was the World Wildlife Fund headquarters downtown. We found a parking spot just across the street from the entrance. James took us up to his cubicle, where he had some presents for the boys. Then we went down to the exercise room in the basement and played on the balls there. When we finally left it was a little after 1, and James had to catch the metro back to Maryland for his game. We got back in the car and went to find a parking place. This, of course, took a long time, and by the time we had parked, everyone was starving. Melinda had invited a friend from the Ukraine to meet us on the Mall, so we tried to find her in the Botanic Garden. It was hot and muggy inside, and the people were packed together like sardines. We were trying to maneuver the giant, unwieldy blue jogging stroller (which Esther refused to sit in), so everything seemed to take twice as long. Our next stop was the Museum of the American Indian, where Melinda had told us we could get all kinds of Native American foods in the cafe. Dan was craving a Navajo Taco, so we stood in the 30 minute line to get in. Esther was beside herself by this time, so I sat and nursed her while everyone else went to get food. We finally hooked up with Carma and Greg at the outdoor sculpture garden near the museum of African Art. They were exhausted by this time, and headed back to their hotel, after spending the day waiting for us to arrive. The kids ran around together for about 15 minutes, and then we parted ways. Our next stop was the Museum of Natural History. So much for meeting up with them in about 90 minutes.
We were planning on spending Saturday visiting the museums with Dan's cousin Carma and her family, who were down for the weekend from New York City. When Melinda talked to them Saturday morning, they were headed to the Air and Space museum, and we were just waking up. She told them we could probably be there in 90 minutes or so. We first drove to Rockville, Maryland, to pick up my brother James and get a quick tour of his house. He had an ultimate frisbee game that afternoon, and had left his cleats at work, so our next stop was the World Wildlife Fund headquarters downtown. We found a parking spot just across the street from the entrance. James took us up to his cubicle, where he had some presents for the boys. Then we went down to the exercise room in the basement and played on the balls there. When we finally left it was a little after 1, and James had to catch the metro back to Maryland for his game. We got back in the car and went to find a parking place. This, of course, took a long time, and by the time we had parked, everyone was starving. Melinda had invited a friend from the Ukraine to meet us on the Mall, so we tried to find her in the Botanic Garden. It was hot and muggy inside, and the people were packed together like sardines. We were trying to maneuver the giant, unwieldy blue jogging stroller (which Esther refused to sit in), so everything seemed to take twice as long. Our next stop was the Museum of the American Indian, where Melinda had told us we could get all kinds of Native American foods in the cafe. Dan was craving a Navajo Taco, so we stood in the 30 minute line to get in. Esther was beside herself by this time, so I sat and nursed her while everyone else went to get food. We finally hooked up with Carma and Greg at the outdoor sculpture garden near the museum of African Art. They were exhausted by this time, and headed back to their hotel, after spending the day waiting for us to arrive. The kids ran around together for about 15 minutes, and then we parted ways. Our next stop was the Museum of Natural History. So much for meeting up with them in about 90 minutes.
Latest Favorites
First on the list of our latest library book favorites is The Dog Child by Simon Black, illustrated by Honorio Robledo. I thought this book was cute, and a little bit weird, but it was a big hit with the boys. It is about a couple who treats their dog as though she is their daughter, even sending her to kindergarten. Finally they have a human baby, and the dog gets to go back to being a regular pet.
The next book that merits mention comes with a warning. I am not actually recommending this book. This is by far the most violent picture book I have ever laid eyes on. I actually couldn't believe what I was seeing. Because of this, I have been showing it to everyone who comes over. That has launched the book to celebrity status in our house, and Adam has begged for it ever since. I actually don't recommend that you read it to your child, but you might want to look at it just for shock value: The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig by Eugene Trivizas.
My third recommendation is this nonfiction book about a group of children who grew vegetables together one summer: A Harvest of Color: Growing a Vegetable Garden by Melanie Eclare.
The next book that merits mention comes with a warning. I am not actually recommending this book. This is by far the most violent picture book I have ever laid eyes on. I actually couldn't believe what I was seeing. Because of this, I have been showing it to everyone who comes over. That has launched the book to celebrity status in our house, and Adam has begged for it ever since. I actually don't recommend that you read it to your child, but you might want to look at it just for shock value: The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig by Eugene Trivizas.
My third recommendation is this nonfiction book about a group of children who grew vegetables together one summer: A Harvest of Color: Growing a Vegetable Garden by Melanie Eclare.
Ode to Leslie (written June 2007)
Yesterday morning, Leslie left us. Right now, it still feels like she might just be gone on an overnight trip to Muskegon, or even a week-long vacation in Utah. But she is not coming back, and that is very sad. Leslie is one of Dan's baby sisters. Adam was born on her 20th birthday. Leslie moved into our basement in late summer of 2005. She spent two school years with us, while completing a Master's degree in viola. Those two years were a gift to me and my children that I'll always be grateful for.
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