Yesterday I arrived at S.O.S. at 9 a.m. to start my first morning of real volunteering. They were understaffed, so I was not able to shadow anyone as an actual counselor, so I tried to find other helpful things to do. Until 10, everyone who could unpacked boxes of food onto the shelves in the basement, divided up the food equally into paper bags, carried the bags of food upstairs to the kitchen, transferred small frozen pizzas from the freezer in the basement to the freezer in the kitchen. Then at 10, when food day officially starts, I got kicked out of the kitchen because there was plenty of help there, and sent to try to help with people coming in for food. In case you are curious, one food bag yesterday contained the following: two cans of veggies, a peanut butter, a jelly, two packages of noodles, a box of mac, a box of baking mix, some fruit cups, and two cans of soup. Each person that came in for food also got a flat of yogurt and some frozen pepperoni pizzas. Also, in the entryway there were two tables piled high with fresh produce (farm fresh--still covered with dirt). Anyone could take as much produce as they wanted.
A person wanting food comes in the front door. They are asked by the greeter to present an ID. The greeter then uses the ID to look the person up in the database. Then she fills out a half-slip of paper with the person's basic information on it, including how many times they have gotten food from S.O.S. this year (people are only allowed to get food four times a year). She puts the half slip of paper in a pile and gives the ID back to the person. Now the person waits in the waiting room until a food counselor calls their name. There are three offices for food counselors to use. When a food counselor is done with one "consumer" (this is what S.O.S. calls the people coming in for help--I think it is a somewhat awful term), he/ she gets the next half-slip of paper from the pile and calls that person's name. They go into one of the three private offices and talk to the person about why they've come in, what other help they might need, et cetera. When the food counselor is done with that person, he/she gives that person's food card to the helpers in the kitchen, who prepare that person's food. Some people also need toiletries, diapers, wipes, feminine hygiene products, et cetera, so if we have any of those things on hand, we give them to those in need along with their food. When the kitchen crew is ready, they call the person's name, and give them their food and now the person is done.
If you want the produce, you can just come in and get it, without showing ID or speaking with a food counselor. If you want the other food, you must speak with a food counselor first. After I get some more training, I will get to be one of the food counselors, but yesterday I just hung out in the lobby helping the greeter and talking to people and organizing the produce and trying to get people to take some of it. Yesterday's produce delivery included lots of greens, some romaine, green tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplants, potatoes, onions, baby bok choy, basil, thyme, little dark purple hot peppers, butternut squash, acorn squash, apples. Most of it was a hard sell. People seemed intimidated by much of it, unsure how to prepare it. I tried to talk them through it, but there were still very few takers for anything besides apples, peppers, and greens.
Two of the happiest parts of my morning: Two mothers came in asking for diapers. They needed sizes 3 and 4. We only had sizes 1 and 2, so they were told there was nothing for them. I took them aside and told them we actually did have size 2 diapers, and did either of them think their baby could squeeze into that size. One mother thought yes, so I went down and got her some diapers and wipes. The other woman's child was 2 and needed size 4. Hey, I thought, that is the size Naomi wears, and I've got some in the car. I asked her if she would like the diapers and wipes from my diaper bag in the car and she said yes. So I went out and got them and she gratefully accepted. It felt so good to give someone something that they really needed. I was so glad I had the diaper bag in the car--so often I forget it! Another happy part of my morning was when I was leaving to go get Naomi from preschool. I saw one of the people who had gotten food trying to load his 6 bags onto his bicycle. He was a young college-aged man who was friends with one of the interns (they were surprised to see each other, but I think it was comforting to him to find her working there). This was the first time he'd ever come in to get food. I offered to load his food into my van and meet him at his house so he wouldn't have to try to carry it on his bike. He accepted, and even offered to pay me for gas. So after I picked up Naomi, we dropped the stuff off and then went home.
I enjoyed my time at S.O.S. so much. I got several people smiling or even laughing with my antics about the produce, and I got to help two or three older people fill out their paperwork because the letters were too small for them to see. One of the oldest people I helped was an African American in her 70s, homeless, no teeth, and she kept calling me "Baby Girl." She had a great sense of humor. When we had to fill out her race on the card, we had a fun joke together about her choosing to be a Pacific Islander and then going "home" to Hawaii. Tomorrow I go back for Day #2. Tomorrow is not a food day, so I will tell you about what a non-food day is like.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Empathy Day
Yesterday was my 9 to 5 training at S.O.S. on using the Empathy Model in counseling. In this model, empathy is the opposite of sympathy. 'Empathy', by this definition, focuses on the client, or 'consumer' as S.O.S. calls them (I can't bear this term), while 'sympathy' focuses on ourselves. The risk with using 'sympathy' is taking everything the client says and relating it back to one of our own experiences, thus spending a great deal of the conversation talking about ourselves. In 'empathy', we try to leave ourselves out of it, focusing the conversation entirely on what the client has to say and how they are feeling about things. When the counselor speaks, it is to clarify what the client has been saying, not to interject her own take on things.
Our training materials list five steps that we should take when speaking with a client in order to properly follow the empathy model:
1) Listen (to verbal and nonverbal statements the client is making)
2) Ask clarifying questions (to help you fill in the gaps of a client's story; to make sure you are understanding them correctly)
3) Give positive strokes (point out things the client has already done to solve his or her problem; help the client see his or her strengths and successes)
4) Make value clarifications (suggest what you think is of greatest importance to the client, based on what he or she has told you)
5) Summarize what the client has said (recap the main points of their story, the feelings they've shared with you, what is important to them, to make sure that you have captured things accurately)
Yesterday there were ten of us in training, with three trainers (all 13 women). We divided into two groups and spent most of the day with our small group practicing the empathy model. I was very nervous to take a turn as a counselor, but it went well. I told myself that instead of trying to follow the empathy model, I would just try to talk to my client (a fellow trainee) the way I normally would. As it turns out, I used all five steps without consciously thinking about it, so yay. One weakness I have is asking two or three questions at a time, and asking the questions a bit too abruptly (What do you think caused this v. I'm wondering what you think may have caused this). Our small group finished the training an hour early, and our trainer said that we picked up on things faster than she's ever seen with previous groups.
Our last activity before going home was sweet. Each of us was given a piece of paper and a bunch of small stickers. We were supposed to use two stickers per person to write the words we thought best described them. Then we took turns presenting our papers and having our new friends come up and stick the words that they chose for us onto our papers. In my group were two undergrads studying social work (volunteers) and two MSW students doing internships with S.O.S., plus the two trainers, one of whom is an S.O.S. staff member, and the other a long-time volunteer.
Our last training session is this Monday night. The topic is Assertiveness. Tuesday morning I will start shadowing. I can shadow for as long as I want, and when I feel comfortable, I can start counseling while a more experienced person shadows me. Once that person thinks I'm ready to go solo, I will be a real, live crisis counselor for S.O.S.
Our training materials list five steps that we should take when speaking with a client in order to properly follow the empathy model:
1) Listen (to verbal and nonverbal statements the client is making)
2) Ask clarifying questions (to help you fill in the gaps of a client's story; to make sure you are understanding them correctly)
3) Give positive strokes (point out things the client has already done to solve his or her problem; help the client see his or her strengths and successes)
4) Make value clarifications (suggest what you think is of greatest importance to the client, based on what he or she has told you)
5) Summarize what the client has said (recap the main points of their story, the feelings they've shared with you, what is important to them, to make sure that you have captured things accurately)
Yesterday there were ten of us in training, with three trainers (all 13 women). We divided into two groups and spent most of the day with our small group practicing the empathy model. I was very nervous to take a turn as a counselor, but it went well. I told myself that instead of trying to follow the empathy model, I would just try to talk to my client (a fellow trainee) the way I normally would. As it turns out, I used all five steps without consciously thinking about it, so yay. One weakness I have is asking two or three questions at a time, and asking the questions a bit too abruptly (What do you think caused this v. I'm wondering what you think may have caused this). Our small group finished the training an hour early, and our trainer said that we picked up on things faster than she's ever seen with previous groups.
Our last activity before going home was sweet. Each of us was given a piece of paper and a bunch of small stickers. We were supposed to use two stickers per person to write the words we thought best described them. Then we took turns presenting our papers and having our new friends come up and stick the words that they chose for us onto our papers. In my group were two undergrads studying social work (volunteers) and two MSW students doing internships with S.O.S., plus the two trainers, one of whom is an S.O.S. staff member, and the other a long-time volunteer.
Our last training session is this Monday night. The topic is Assertiveness. Tuesday morning I will start shadowing. I can shadow for as long as I want, and when I feel comfortable, I can start counseling while a more experienced person shadows me. Once that person thinks I'm ready to go solo, I will be a real, live crisis counselor for S.O.S.
Capturing Susan Piver's "The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life"
The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life by Susan Piver, 2004
I picked this book up at the library because I'm interested in learning to ask better questions. The one hundred questions that Piver poses here (on Family; Friendships; Intimate Relationships; Work; Money; Creativity; Spiritual Life) did not appeal to me nearly as much, however, as what she said in her Introduction and Afterword.
Piver on living an Authentic Life:
-Your inner world (feelings, values, gifts, needs, spirituality, passions) matches your outer world (job, relationships, home, community).
-Three goals: 1) discover what you can offer to others 2) find and follow your unique path 3) maintain an ongoing, honest, reliable connection to your inner wisdom.
-Authentic living comes as a natural result of being present today, and focusing on the moment.
-It comes from an ongoing inner dialogue based on inquiry and a commitment to listen to the answers that arise.
-It is impossible to plan an authentic life It is only possible to be authentic and watch as your authentic life manifests around you.
Piver on discovering our inner voice by asking questions:
-Piver's life has been driven by this thought: Tell me what I should do with my life and I will give everything to it. Who am I? Why am I here? What are my special gifts? Often, the last place we look for answers to these questions is within.
-It is difficult to distinguish our own thoughts from the thoughts of others; we are profoundly disconnected from what is real, simple, and true for us. Tapping into our own inner wisdom is difficult. We long for it, yet we lack the ability to hear ourselves clearly. When we try to tune in, often the first thing we encounter is others' voices, telling us what life should look like. Most of us can't separate these voices from our own. If we listen carefully and take the time to trace each voice back to its root, we can almost always identify the strands.
-We begin to tune into our real voice by asking questions.
-Asking a question can be a sacred act. If we can simply ask, wonder, and become curious, an opening for an answer will be created. Questioning is a spiritual practice. We come into dialogue with God/ our true nature/ wisdom whenever we stop, look inside, and take the time and effort to really listen to ourselves.
-If our questions are a genuine inquiry, reliable answers will emerge. Listening requires emptiness and receptivity.
-The only reliable way to cultivate presence (awareness, or the ability to observe our own minds) is through a regular contemplative practice, such as meditation, journaling, walking, yoga. It doesn't matter which practice you choose, but you must set the intention to take time for contemplation and remain consistent with your chosen practice. Having a daily contemplative practice is like permanently installing a satellite dish outside your house--our inner voice requires an unmoving target to receive its broadcasts. Spiritual practice creates a steady, reliable way to receive our own wisdom.
-Ask yourself questions every day to keep fine-tuning your ear to the sound of your inner voice. Come up with a personalized list of questions to help you stay connected with yourself. Ask them in the morning to make sure your day is launched with consciousness. Ask them in the evening to review, learn, and summarize what really happened that day.
Piver's start of the day questions:
What do I need to say today? To whom?
With whom do I need to connect today?
What would I like to see unfold in my life today?
What can I contribute today? To whom? To what?
What can I focus on today that will bring me closer to my authentic life?
End of the day:
What did I leave unsaid today?
What did I allow myself to feel? What didn't I allow myself to feel?
What did I love about myself today? What did I not love about myself today?
What began to unfold in my life today?
What happened today for which I am grateful?
What happened today that wasn't in accord with my highest values?
What did I say, do, think, or feel today that brought me closer to my authentic life?
PG: If anything in here leaps out at you, perhaps you could comment on it, and I will try to respond. Do you have any questions that you like to ask yourself?
I picked this book up at the library because I'm interested in learning to ask better questions. The one hundred questions that Piver poses here (on Family; Friendships; Intimate Relationships; Work; Money; Creativity; Spiritual Life) did not appeal to me nearly as much, however, as what she said in her Introduction and Afterword.
Piver on living an Authentic Life:
-Your inner world (feelings, values, gifts, needs, spirituality, passions) matches your outer world (job, relationships, home, community).
-Three goals: 1) discover what you can offer to others 2) find and follow your unique path 3) maintain an ongoing, honest, reliable connection to your inner wisdom.
-Authentic living comes as a natural result of being present today, and focusing on the moment.
-It comes from an ongoing inner dialogue based on inquiry and a commitment to listen to the answers that arise.
-It is impossible to plan an authentic life It is only possible to be authentic and watch as your authentic life manifests around you.
Piver on discovering our inner voice by asking questions:
-Piver's life has been driven by this thought: Tell me what I should do with my life and I will give everything to it. Who am I? Why am I here? What are my special gifts? Often, the last place we look for answers to these questions is within.
-It is difficult to distinguish our own thoughts from the thoughts of others; we are profoundly disconnected from what is real, simple, and true for us. Tapping into our own inner wisdom is difficult. We long for it, yet we lack the ability to hear ourselves clearly. When we try to tune in, often the first thing we encounter is others' voices, telling us what life should look like. Most of us can't separate these voices from our own. If we listen carefully and take the time to trace each voice back to its root, we can almost always identify the strands.
-We begin to tune into our real voice by asking questions.
-Asking a question can be a sacred act. If we can simply ask, wonder, and become curious, an opening for an answer will be created. Questioning is a spiritual practice. We come into dialogue with God/ our true nature/ wisdom whenever we stop, look inside, and take the time and effort to really listen to ourselves.
-If our questions are a genuine inquiry, reliable answers will emerge. Listening requires emptiness and receptivity.
-The only reliable way to cultivate presence (awareness, or the ability to observe our own minds) is through a regular contemplative practice, such as meditation, journaling, walking, yoga. It doesn't matter which practice you choose, but you must set the intention to take time for contemplation and remain consistent with your chosen practice. Having a daily contemplative practice is like permanently installing a satellite dish outside your house--our inner voice requires an unmoving target to receive its broadcasts. Spiritual practice creates a steady, reliable way to receive our own wisdom.
-Ask yourself questions every day to keep fine-tuning your ear to the sound of your inner voice. Come up with a personalized list of questions to help you stay connected with yourself. Ask them in the morning to make sure your day is launched with consciousness. Ask them in the evening to review, learn, and summarize what really happened that day.
Piver's start of the day questions:
What do I need to say today? To whom?
With whom do I need to connect today?
What would I like to see unfold in my life today?
What can I contribute today? To whom? To what?
What can I focus on today that will bring me closer to my authentic life?
End of the day:
What did I leave unsaid today?
What did I allow myself to feel? What didn't I allow myself to feel?
What did I love about myself today? What did I not love about myself today?
What began to unfold in my life today?
What happened today for which I am grateful?
What happened today that wasn't in accord with my highest values?
What did I say, do, think, or feel today that brought me closer to my authentic life?
PG: If anything in here leaps out at you, perhaps you could comment on it, and I will try to respond. Do you have any questions that you like to ask yourself?
Gratitude Weekend
An unpublished post, written on May 23, 2011:
This past Saturday I attended a women's conference at the church for the women in the stake (Ann Arbor, Ypsi, Saline, Chelsea, Adrian, Howell, Brighton). The theme of the conference was strength in every season, symbolized by a tree. The keynote speaker, Polly Mallory, gave an amazing talk that was very helpful for me to hear. Then I attended a two-hour seminar on gratitude taught by my brother's new father-in-law, Bob Quinn. The seminar was also excellent. I learned so much during the conference.
It is always a bit of a disappointment to return home after an intellectual and/ or spiritual feast. While I am listening to the speakers and participating in the discussions, I feel so full of hope and energy and excitement to apply what I'm learning to my life. I want to hurry home and change the world! Then I walk in the front door and there are the children and the laundry and the dishes and my poor husband who has been alone with the children, laundry and dishes for 6+ hours. All of a sudden, I need a nap! Then I'm sort of plunged right back in to the chaos and semi-darkness of my daily life. The hope and light from the conference seem to vanish, a faint memory. I almost feel worse now, facing the juxtaposition of my hopes and my reality.
But this does not need to be a sad post! What can we do when we are filled with a desire to change, and then faced with the difficulties of our present reality? The answer that comes immediately to mind is this: pick one small thing to start with. The small thing that I did on Saturday after the conference was to apologize to Dan for hurting him the previous day, and this led to a long, good talk that brought us much closer together and inspired me with an even stronger desire to change.
This past Saturday I attended a women's conference at the church for the women in the stake (Ann Arbor, Ypsi, Saline, Chelsea, Adrian, Howell, Brighton). The theme of the conference was strength in every season, symbolized by a tree. The keynote speaker, Polly Mallory, gave an amazing talk that was very helpful for me to hear. Then I attended a two-hour seminar on gratitude taught by my brother's new father-in-law, Bob Quinn. The seminar was also excellent. I learned so much during the conference.
It is always a bit of a disappointment to return home after an intellectual and/ or spiritual feast. While I am listening to the speakers and participating in the discussions, I feel so full of hope and energy and excitement to apply what I'm learning to my life. I want to hurry home and change the world! Then I walk in the front door and there are the children and the laundry and the dishes and my poor husband who has been alone with the children, laundry and dishes for 6+ hours. All of a sudden, I need a nap! Then I'm sort of plunged right back in to the chaos and semi-darkness of my daily life. The hope and light from the conference seem to vanish, a faint memory. I almost feel worse now, facing the juxtaposition of my hopes and my reality.
But this does not need to be a sad post! What can we do when we are filled with a desire to change, and then faced with the difficulties of our present reality? The answer that comes immediately to mind is this: pick one small thing to start with. The small thing that I did on Saturday after the conference was to apologize to Dan for hurting him the previous day, and this led to a long, good talk that brought us much closer together and inspired me with an even stronger desire to change.
Friday, September 30, 2011
The Game of Life
Our most recent training session was called "The Game of Life." For this we were asked to wait outside until our trainer and her helpers had set up the room for the game. We were given two rules: 1) get through the four stations and 2) start with station #1 or #2. Before we were let back into the room, Normea gave each of us a name tag to wear with three or four capital letters on it. She had us line up outside, changing our order, ordering some people to face the wall and not talk, telling one girl not to touch anything or anyone. She moved some of us closer to the door of the room, and we could not enter until she gave the word. I was one of the first to be escorted into the room. It was set up with four different tables, and an S.O.S. staff member was behind each table. The first table I was taken to was Employment. I was told that because of my race, I could own a chain of ethnic restaurants. Next I was taken to Bank to get some money. After quite a bit of run-around, I was given five dollars and taken to Housing. The houses cost either 2 or 3 dollars. I bought one for 2 dollars, and was then sent to Finish and Complaints. There I showed proof of housing (a laminated picture of my house), and was given a letter stating that I was now eligible to enter the Resort for $1 and rest. I had completed the game. More on the game soon.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Becoming a Crisis Counselor
Instead of taking more classes and more tests and doing more research to prepare for graduate school, I now need focus on only one thing: getting experience working in human services. This means volunteering at two local agencies. The first agency, S.O.S., provides services to the homeless, and those in danger of becoming homeless. To volunteer as a crisis counselor with them, I've been participating in their 21-hour training program. The training consists of 4 three-hour meetings on weekday evenings, and one full Saturday. I've done the training sessions called "Homelessness" "Crisis Counseling" and "Game of Life" and next I'll do "Empathy Day" and finally "Assertiveness." There are about 20-40 people in training with me. Some are interns (MSW students), some are volunteers like me (mostly hoping to get into MSW programs, also like me), and some are staff members at S.O.S. Our trainer is a rather gruff black woman named Normea (nor MAY a). She snaps at us if we don't follow the rules, but I'm pretty sure she is secretly a sweetie-pie.
What will I do at S.O.S. once I finish the training this coming Monday? I will start out as a Food Counselor. S.O.S. has a dilapidated old two story turn-of-the-century house in the historic district of Ypsilanti where anyone in the area can come on Tuesdays to pick up bags of food to feed their families. Before getting their food bag, people are required to go into a little office with one of us counselors and help us fill out a few forms. Each individual can only get food four times a year from S.O.S., so we keep a card on file with their name and when they last got their food bag so that we can check to see if they are still eligible. If they need more food, we can write them a referral to a few local churches which also give out food. One of the churches will give each individual food once every three months. Another will give food once a month. Another agency will give clothing and household items (pots and pans, brooms, etc.) to an individual in need once every three months. We keep track of all the referrals we give so that we don't give them more often than the respective agencies are willing to provide. A referral is just a form that we fill out and sign, which the person can take to the next place in order to get their food or household items. I am not sure if these places accept walk-ins without referrals. While we are filling out the forms, we are trying to find out how they are doing, what led them to needing food this month, if they currently have a place to live, if they are in a domestic violence situation, things like that.
I will be volunteering at S.O.S. on Tuesday and Thursday mornings (while Naomi is at preschool) until January, when I will do the training at the second agency I want to work for, Ozone House. When I complete their training, I hope to volunteer with each agency once a week. Ozone House provides services to teens, including a 24-hour crisis hotline, which I think the volunteers man. I really like the fact that instead of doing more and more esoteric things in my quest for a doctorate, I am now doing lots of practical, hands-on things, that are helpful to real live people today. That makes me feel more confident that I have made the right choice.
What will I do at S.O.S. once I finish the training this coming Monday? I will start out as a Food Counselor. S.O.S. has a dilapidated old two story turn-of-the-century house in the historic district of Ypsilanti where anyone in the area can come on Tuesdays to pick up bags of food to feed their families. Before getting their food bag, people are required to go into a little office with one of us counselors and help us fill out a few forms. Each individual can only get food four times a year from S.O.S., so we keep a card on file with their name and when they last got their food bag so that we can check to see if they are still eligible. If they need more food, we can write them a referral to a few local churches which also give out food. One of the churches will give each individual food once every three months. Another will give food once a month. Another agency will give clothing and household items (pots and pans, brooms, etc.) to an individual in need once every three months. We keep track of all the referrals we give so that we don't give them more often than the respective agencies are willing to provide. A referral is just a form that we fill out and sign, which the person can take to the next place in order to get their food or household items. I am not sure if these places accept walk-ins without referrals. While we are filling out the forms, we are trying to find out how they are doing, what led them to needing food this month, if they currently have a place to live, if they are in a domestic violence situation, things like that.
I will be volunteering at S.O.S. on Tuesday and Thursday mornings (while Naomi is at preschool) until January, when I will do the training at the second agency I want to work for, Ozone House. When I complete their training, I hope to volunteer with each agency once a week. Ozone House provides services to teens, including a 24-hour crisis hotline, which I think the volunteers man. I really like the fact that instead of doing more and more esoteric things in my quest for a doctorate, I am now doing lots of practical, hands-on things, that are helpful to real live people today. That makes me feel more confident that I have made the right choice.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Minor Change in Plans
A few weeks ago (Tuesday Sept. 6), I was sitting in my Experiemental Psychology class listening to our professor give a lecture about the field of psychology as a whole. One of the things that he said really struck me. He encouraged each of us who was interested in Psychology as a way to become a therapist to also look at degrees in Counseling and/ or Social Work. He explained that those paths require virtually no research, are much faster, and are probably better suited for many people who want to work in Human Services. I was aware of the things he was saying, but listening to him that morning struck me again as something I should carefully consider. Two days later I met with the two psychology doctoral students that I've been working with to score the TAT stories. They were talking about how their professor wanted them to spend even more time on school and less time on their outside lives. They were complaining about their heavy load: preparing for prelims, teaching classes, grading papers, preparing three papers for publications, working on their own research, working on their professor's research, and taking classes. As I listened to them talking I was taken back in time to the years between 2001 and 2005 when I was working on a Ph.D. in history at UM. At that time, I was so overwhelmed with all that was expected of me in school that I couldn't imagine being able to complete all of my work without living as a hermit and devoting every waking moment to school. And not sleeping very much, and drinking a lot of caffeine to stay awake. This was the lifestyle of most of my cohort, but my lifestyle, with a husband and two children, church callings, a household to run, felt impossible to fit into that doctoral program.
I have been nervous and worried about trying to do a Ph.D. again, now with 4 children instead of 2, but I've also been trying to tell myself that it will be better the second time because I've chosen a field that I'm much more interested in and more prepared for. But listening to Alex and Greg talk, it occurred to me that they were under no less stress and had no easier expectations than I had had in History. Their life sounded like a nightmare for me, one that I've already spent several years living.
As I continued to ponder these two experiences, I began to ask myself why I was insisting on the Ph.D. track instead of the much easier and faster MSW degree. I would probably be even more employable as a therapist with an MSW than with a Ph.D. because I would cost less. And my MSW training would all be practical, professional training, as opposed to the Ph.D. with its strong emphasis on training "scientist-practitioners", in other words, people who conduct experiments and do research as a primary focus, with some clinical work on the side, mostly to enhance their efficacy as scientists and researchers. I was willing to jump through the hoop of research, but that is not what I want to do with my career.
I came to see that the reason I was following the Ph.D. was because I had decided that I could not put the family into more debt. Ph.D. programs offer full funding, plus a stipend, while MSW programs cost money. And at the end, a Ph.D. will make more. But when I took money out of the equation, my choice was startlingly clear. I had virtually no desire to do a Ph.D. Sunday night I took this problem to Dan to discuss the possibility of us going into more debt to pay for social work school. He was fine with it! The more I talked to him, the more comfortable I felt about taking out a loan to pay for school, something I've never had to do before.
The next morning, I realized that if were really going to change my plan and pursue an MSW instead of a Ph.D., I would not need the class I was currently enrolled in, or any other classes, for that matter. When I got online to find out if I had missed the drop deadline, I was delighted to see that the deadline was that very day. I called and got a full tuition refund. Later I got a refund for my parking permit, I dropped out of the research project I had been working on (not relevant to social work school), I took back my library books about preparing for the GRE and the Psychology Subject Test (no GRE used in the admissions process for social work program). I was shedding unnecessary stresses, costs, time commitments right and left. It felt amazing to let all of those things that I was doing to prepare to apply to Ph.D. programs go.
I have been nervous and worried about trying to do a Ph.D. again, now with 4 children instead of 2, but I've also been trying to tell myself that it will be better the second time because I've chosen a field that I'm much more interested in and more prepared for. But listening to Alex and Greg talk, it occurred to me that they were under no less stress and had no easier expectations than I had had in History. Their life sounded like a nightmare for me, one that I've already spent several years living.
As I continued to ponder these two experiences, I began to ask myself why I was insisting on the Ph.D. track instead of the much easier and faster MSW degree. I would probably be even more employable as a therapist with an MSW than with a Ph.D. because I would cost less. And my MSW training would all be practical, professional training, as opposed to the Ph.D. with its strong emphasis on training "scientist-practitioners", in other words, people who conduct experiments and do research as a primary focus, with some clinical work on the side, mostly to enhance their efficacy as scientists and researchers. I was willing to jump through the hoop of research, but that is not what I want to do with my career.
I came to see that the reason I was following the Ph.D. was because I had decided that I could not put the family into more debt. Ph.D. programs offer full funding, plus a stipend, while MSW programs cost money. And at the end, a Ph.D. will make more. But when I took money out of the equation, my choice was startlingly clear. I had virtually no desire to do a Ph.D. Sunday night I took this problem to Dan to discuss the possibility of us going into more debt to pay for social work school. He was fine with it! The more I talked to him, the more comfortable I felt about taking out a loan to pay for school, something I've never had to do before.
The next morning, I realized that if were really going to change my plan and pursue an MSW instead of a Ph.D., I would not need the class I was currently enrolled in, or any other classes, for that matter. When I got online to find out if I had missed the drop deadline, I was delighted to see that the deadline was that very day. I called and got a full tuition refund. Later I got a refund for my parking permit, I dropped out of the research project I had been working on (not relevant to social work school), I took back my library books about preparing for the GRE and the Psychology Subject Test (no GRE used in the admissions process for social work program). I was shedding unnecessary stresses, costs, time commitments right and left. It felt amazing to let all of those things that I was doing to prepare to apply to Ph.D. programs go.
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