Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Emotional Reasoning
Monday I started feeling kind of low. This morning I woke up feeling even worse. Today I feel so tired and blah. I just don't feel like I have the energy or drive or motivation to do anything. It feels like I am drugged or in slow motion or in a heavier gravity than usual. It feels like it requires superhuman strength to make dinner and make lunches and clean the living room, when just a week ago that didn't feel very hard at all. When I don't exert the strength it would take to do my work, I feel bad about myself and my "weak character". I know that if I could make myself do my work in spite of how I'm feeling, I would feel better. If I don't do my work because of how I'm feeling, I'll feel worse. One of the Cognitive Distortions that David Burns talks about it "emotional reasoning." I don't feel like doing the dishes, therefore I cannot do the dishes. If I can get myself to do them anyway, I will have a victory. The thing that needs to be done right now is the dinner preparation. I'm off to the kitchen! Writing this has helped.
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Thanks, I needed to read that. I've been good lately--as in since the end of last week?--but typically, things just DON'T get done--as in nothing--because I don't feel like it. Guess I'd better work on those small victories when I'm tired and down and just don't feel like it.
S's parents are coming next week, and I am so amazed that I am actually planning and on the ball for their arrival. Usually I just avoid big stressers, especially if they're compounded by an insanely busy week directly beforehand. I actually checked out a fantastic book a few weeks ago from the library: The Procrastinating Child. I totally love it. Even though I only read a little of it so far (and then passed it on to S, saying that I needed him to be the parent to me to help me get over my procrast. issues), it must've rubbed off. I think what helped the most was reading about how children often procrastinate because 1) they have no clue about how to handle the challenge facing them, even if it's something a parent may see as being as simple as cleaning a room, and 2) how parents can inadvertently encourage procr. by "rewarding" the child with more attention, even if it's negative attention. Kids do anything to get attention; they'd rather be yelled at than ignored. I think most of the attention I got from my parents when I was in my teens was negative. By then, the procrastination was deeply rooted, and I was driving them insane! I don't blame them. I'd go nuts too if I had a child who put things off as horribly as I did. At least I'd go nuts if I didn't know about this book. I want to mail a copy to my mom. My 14-yr-old bro is still at home. And he's now the one driving them crazy.... ;)
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