Tender Mercies

This afternoon at 3:40 I had my 20 week ultrasound. I have never cared much one way or another if my baby was a boy or a girl, until this pregnancy. I have wanted this baby to be a girl SO BAD. But because I threw up when I was pregnant with my boys and not with Esther, and I threw up with this pregnancy, I've been assuming that this baby must be a boy. I've also resigned myself to the fact that it is a boy because I really really want a girl this time. In the past month or so I've lost all interest in every boy name on my list...I don't like any of them anymore. I can only bring myself to think about the girl names. I've been praying more and more frequently that God would give me a girl this time, knowing that is silly, since He will give me whoever is supposed to be in our family, regardless of my personal preference.

I was really excited for my ultrasound today because of the possibility of a girl, but also a little dreading the moment when I found out the baby is indeed a boy. The technician asked me if I would like to know the gender and I said yes. At first she couldn't get a good view, and moved on to looking at the heart, et cetera. I was now sure that I wouldn't get to find out the gender at all, and would just have to keep waiting. Then, unexpectedly, the technician asked again if I was sure I wanted to know the gender. "Yes!" I said. "It's a girl" she said, pointing out the tell-tale three lines. At that moment I felt the tears well up in my eyes and an overwhelming sense of God's love for me. That sense of his love has stayed with me all day. It seems too good to be true that I could be having my heart's desire of another girl, when really all that matters is that I have a healthy baby.

Right after this glorious moment, there was a knock on the door of our room and one of the receptionists poked her head in. "The father is here" she said. Dan surprised me by driving in from Detroit for the ultrasound! So I got to tell him we are having a girl, and he sat next to me holding my hand the rest of the time. Dan doesn't really like talking about names until the baby is born, but I am obsessed with names, so I made him discuss girl names with me for a few minutes. Luckily for him, it took just moments for me to realize that the only name I like any more is Naomi, and we both like the name Caroline for her middle name (after one of my coolest ancestors, Caroline Farozine Skeen). So I think that we're having a little Naomi Caroline.

When I got back to the Garns' house to pick up the kids, Adam was the first to hear the news. Up until today I've only heard him and Eli say that they want another girl so that they can each have their own little sister, and so that there will be a pair of boys and a pair of girls. But Adam surprised me by looking disappointed and saying that now he won't get to find out what it's like to have a baby brother. I asked Esther if she could say "Naomi" and she yelled "Yomi!" Then she yelled it over and over again, very enthusiastically. Adam wanted to know what the nickname for Naomi could be and I said it could be Yomi, Noki, Nomi...He and Eli liked Nomi because that would be like we had named her after a Gnome. Eli has been voting for "Naomi" all along, so he is content.