Naomi is seven weeks old today. That means seven weeks since I became the mother of 4. As I write to you, I am eating from a bag of Lindt dark chocolate truffle balls for lunch. I am surrounded by the post-apocalyptic mess which is my living room. I've got one baby falling asleep for her nap and one just waking up. We are running out of clean clothes and clean dishes. The bathroom...I would advise that you use your own before visiting. I read this statement in the Enisgn (church magazine) this morning:
"Have you received a recent calling and feel overwhelmed? Remember how easy it sounded when someone described how to play a piano or to swim? Then when you tried to do that, or any other challenging task, how complicated it seemed. Remember how as you persisted it became more comfortable and much easier to manage? As you diligently serve, the Lord will help you in like manner with your new calling."
This struck me as being quite applicable to my own situation. On days like today, after a night of being awakened by Naomi twice and Esther four times, I feel like I am wandering aimlessly in a fog. I have time to do what needs to be done, but I can't seem to get myself together enough to use that time. Esther had school this morning, and I squandered those three hours on a trip to the grocery store, a few KenKen puzzles, and iTunes. On other days I do much better.
The one thing that I am most happy about is the fact that I've been making good dinners each night so that we can sit together as a family and enjoy our meal at the end of the day. And of course the baby is well-fed and growing. The one thing that I think is most bothering me is that I haven't yet figured out how to make exercise a part of this new life. I was walking nearly an hour a day most days until the morning of the birth, and since that day, nothing. Last night I was trying to solve this dilemma with a list of times that I could exercise. After studying the list, the best option seemed to be 5:30 a.m. at the YMCA. So I set my alarm last night. No good. I got up for the seventh and final time at 7:30, barely in time to get the boys to school.
I think one of the reasons that I'm not posting to my blog very often is that I feel like a post should include pictures, but pictures take FOREVER to upload to my blog, so I always put it off. If I let go of the requirement to include photos, like I am doing now, it is easy and even therapeutic to post something. I think there must be a way to upload smaller versions of my photos. If the files were smaller, I imagine it would go much faster.
Well, I'm headed to bed. At times like this, being awake doesn't seem to do much good. The baby I thought was waking up is still asleep, so I'd better jump on this chance. Bye!
13 comments:
I've been there....ugh~~~ 4 kids 4 and under in 4 years of marriage...suck a duck!
I bought 2 boxes of dark choco choco choco truffles for 75% off and ate 75% of them yesterday...and I don't even have a good excuse.....snarf..snarf and a big WOOF....HUAGH~~~~
Hang in there Andrea! If you ever have time to exercise in the evening, I'd be happy to accompany you ... and I have access to a really nice gym for free!
First of all, way to go in finding some positives! I'm impressed you have been getting dinner together. Next, give it some time!! Exercise is a great thing and will help you feel good and probably help with that foggy feeling, but not if you are dead to the world from no sleep! Don't beat yourself up, give it some time! (My lame two cents ... like I've ever been patient in my life!)
OH Andrea, I am so pleased to see that you are cooking for your family. Give your self some slack girl. It took me months to start cooking for my family again. And in my current situation you would be disgusted to know when the last time that I cooked was. Excersise will come again and you will again feel like you are accomplishing so much!! Don't be hard on yourself. YOu are already doing so much good right now.
Dude I feel your pain. Tuesday night I got ("got") to be in bed for an entire half hour TWICE! What an awesome night. :-)
I've decided that once I'm sleeping through the night, then I'll start getting up early to exercise.
And one of my New Year's goals is to not treat junk like a meal. So far I haven't started working on that one. I'm entirely fueled by sugar right now. Wish I was there so we could be in a hazy daze together. :-)
Did you totally prank call me the other day, or was that just a mis-dial? I've been waiting for you to call me back, as I am sure that if I return your call I'll wake everyone up from the one time you all finally were getting some sleep. :-)
Miss you!!
You are doing great! I can feel your pain. Four is hard, newborns are hard, two year olds are hard, cooking dinner is hard, getting no sleep is hard. It will get easier and don't beat yourself up about exercise. There is a time and season for everything. In Michigan the season of winter makes it really hard to get any exercise!
I've felt that way and I only have 2!!! Maybe your VTs can watch your girls while you take a fat huge nap!
Good luck!
I remember for the first 6 months of my fourth child's life feeling like NOBODY was getting everything they needed. Especially the mom. Good luck with carving out some exercise time--I think it really helps alleviate the effects of sleep deprivation--but I didn't get up early in the mornings when my babies were still waking me up. I think you ROCK for making dinner. Repeatedly. Way to go!
Andrea, you can do it!! And I would love to have a partner to work out with at the YMCA in the morning. I can't do 5:30 am, but I'd meet you there at 6:30. Let me know if you're interested. If you're not, I understand, I didn't work out again until Caleb was 8 months old.
I've heard of these people that can just set their alarms for incredibly early times in the morning, like 5am, and actually GET UP. I am not, nor have I ever been one of those people. I'm not big on sleeping in (I don't like to sleep in past 8 usually) but I CANNOT make myself get up early. My husband practically has to drag me out of bed in order to get me to work on time. Every morning.
I've been there for along time. I also have 4 and the sleep part never seems to come. Let your body go at it's own pace it will bounce back you just have to give it time. The routine of 4 is so intense but it does get better. Let me know if I can help even just for a few hours so you can get a couple of shut eye. It helps improve the outlook on things.
I can soooo relate to what you are saying. I think exercise is overrated! Sleep is so much better than exercise at this point in my life. And, good grief, you have four kids, do you really think you are not getting any exercise naturally?
"Who is Wag?" you might be saying. (I am Brie's mom.) And I am going to make a comment I SWORE I would never make. When I had four kids in six years and my life was a fog of dirty diapers (sometimes removed by the wearer and dragged inside out across the living room rug) I used to yearn for peace. And old women of the ward would say, "Just enjoy this while you can. Kids grow up." And I'd glare at them.
But now, with some of my grown or nearly grown kids' problems--well, baby puke in the face was not as bad as I thought--in the larger scheme of life.
So, I won't say, "Enjoy it. These are the best years of your life," which is what the old women said to me. But I will say, if you can't enjoy where you are in life, at least don't take it too seriously.
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